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His and Hers

By Calene Kruger

Pathologically opposed to bedding his own wife, uncle Oscar spent his life moving from one climactic moment to another in the beds of undiscerning, desperate women all over town. This sordid trail of conquests ended when his philandering heart abruptly ceased to beat just as the glow was fading from the last post-coital embrace he would ever experience. Oscar’s mortal remains were removed by paramedics and reduced to a small heap of ashes. These were decanted neatly into a sturdy cardboard box by the crematorium after cooling. Aunt Tilly took custody and drove home in her ancient Honda over bumpy potholed roads, a final journey that in any other circumstances he might have found bone-jarring. She removed the box from the boot, carried it carefully to the bedroom and placed it gently on Oscar’s side of the neglected marital bed. At last she had him exactly where she wanted him.

· Calene is a drama teacher. She has a gift for spontaneous, well-paced, humorous writing, and is particularly wicked and hilarious when composing flash fiction. It's hard to tell a rounded story in 150 words, but she pulls it off brilliantly every time.


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